so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
