I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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