I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
