She announced her abortion via fbk
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize