..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Someone came in the potted fern
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
