I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
