So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
