she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
