just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize