Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
