In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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