Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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