I think i sorta joined a cult last night
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
