I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Randomize
