oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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