i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
So squirting runs in the family.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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