I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
