I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
