More tranny stories later!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
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