Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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