i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
