Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
