she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
