so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
