You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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