Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
