We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
