so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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