I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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