youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Randomize
