Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize
