who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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