We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
