I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
