I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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