We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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