I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
