What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
