who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
