you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize