i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
