i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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