You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
