careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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