Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I'm sobbing to NWA
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