why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
