that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
