She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
