If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
