You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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