at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I'm both gender and math confused
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
