Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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