These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I would fuck him just for his dog
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
