woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
My bed smells like the plague
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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