I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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