when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
