ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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