he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize