I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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