Pappa wants mamma naked
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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