She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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