nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize