I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I have feelings that need drinking.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
