Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
